Six Words and Many Tears

I wrote this two nights ago.

Six words in an email.

“Wilson is now with the Lord.”

We got the email earlier in the afternoon asking us to pray for Wilson Brant as he had been in a “bad” car accident. I did along with many others who found out what had happened. I never expected the email I would get later.

I remember sobbing. I fell to the floor pleading for it not to be true. I had to read the email several times. It almost seemed like a cruel joke. But it wasn’t. After I had calmed down a little and could talk I called Carl and told him. I also told our kids. They all knew Wilson. We are all in a state of shock.

I literally have been trying to write this for most of the day. I have started and deleted several drafts.

What do I say?

It is now 1:21 in the morning and I could not sleep. The Lord led me to get up and write. So, I am being obedient even though my eyes hurt from crying so much today. The tears will not stop coming. My children just keep coming up and hugging me. They are in shock. We all are.

I literally hugged this young man on Monday and he gave me a huge smile. Monday. My heart is broken for his family and for the other many friends he had. Our family is grieving.

William is away in South Carolina at EI Bible Institute. I was not planning on telling him until we picked him up on Saturday, but he found out.  With social media the way it is now a days, it is hard to keep things from people. He said he is doing fine but I really don’t know. He and Wilson were good friends. I just want to get in the car and go get my son. I want to hug him and tell him that it is going to be okay. He is processing this all on his own with no friends or support system. My heart is breaking for my boy. I want him home. I guess that is just the momma heart in me. I want him close to me.

Wilson was an exceptional young man who loved the Lord and served Him with boldness. He was someone that all of my boys looked up to. He always had a smile for those around him. He was quick to cheer people up. He was so talented. He had a lovely tenor voice and was a talented actor. He came to all the Spiritual Twist Productions and cheered us all on. He was so excited to see our family serve in that ministry. He was very involved in STP. We were in Scarlet together where he played Robin Hood and I cried when he sang the songs. He sang with such passion. William especially looked up to him.

He was someone that I wanted my boys to hang around with. Someone I wanted them to talk to and be with because he was a follower of Christ.

And that is his legacy. All day long people have filled Facebook and emails with memories of Wilson and all of them state how much he loved the Lord. God chose to take him home after only living 26 years but the legacy he leaves behind is amazing.

We are overcome with grief and sorrow for his family. As a mom, I cannot imagine the pain his family is in. We, as his friends, are grieving over the fact that we will not get to hear his tenor voice ring out with the passion he always sang with. We take comfort in the fact that Wilson is singing before His Savior right now. And one day we will join him. That is what we are all clinging to right now. Peace and comfort that can only come from the Holy Spirit.

The next few days are going to be hard for all of us. There will be memorials and people sharing. There will be lots of tears and probably laughter as we recall Wilson’s life. As a director at STP I need to help the students deal with their grief all the while dealing with my own.

Esther came into my room this evening asking some very serious questions about life and death. It was hard to help her navigate those questions. I think it was not a coincidence that today was a day where we just had a light day. We ended up watching God’s Not Dead 2 after lunch. I just can’t get one of the lines out of my head.

“God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good.”

Even in our grief and sorrow.

Even when we don’t understand.

Even when we are alone.

Even when we get angry at how it isn’t fair.

God is with us. Here. In the pain and sorrow. He is right beside us whispering in our ears that He is in control and we just need to trust Him.

It is like the tapestry of our lives that we see as a jumbled mess when it is being worked on. One day, God will reveal the beautiful masterpiece that he was weaving out of all the pain and hurt and things we did not understand. Wilson’s tapestry is finished. God is right now showing Wilson how all the things in his 26 years of life worked out to be for God’s glory. The good times and the bad led to life that brought honor and glory to God.

One day, God will reveal the masterpiece he is weaving in my life. The loss of Wilson will be a part of that as it will for the countless lives he touched. We don’t understand now. We may never this side of heaven. Wilson’s memory and legacy and how he lived his life could go on to touch many more lives in his death than he did while alive.

I think of how my sweet Asa changed my life and how I write to honor his memory. A boy who never breathed earthly air. I think of Pam Park who also changed my life in the way she loved the Lord and served Him right up until her final breath. I think of Cindy Patrick who also loved the Lord and sacrificed so much for her family. I remember my grandmother who was one of the most humble servants of Christ I have ever known. Each loss has given me reason to serve the Lord more. The memory of each sweet soul that is now with their Savior pushes me to serve God and love God more and to tell as many people as I can about the God they all served.

Wilson Brant is now added to the list of people that I have known that have had a remarkable impact on my life. His memory will push me to be more bold. To sing with the passion he sang with. To serve and love God like he did.

So tonight, or this morning, as I write to remember a life cut too short I want to remember the great God Wilson served. He is a God of peace and comfort. I pray for Wilson’s family and all the people he touched. We grieve, but also rejoice in knowing that Wilson is singing in heaven and that we will join him one day.