God is Good

I wrote this a few days ago.  

I was over at the Spiritual Twist building dropping William off for his TTA class this afternoon. I was talking to a few of the other mothers about what has happened over the past week. We all agreed that school and life in general have been put on hold since Thursday. For me and one other mother we were discussing how it really has been on hold since final two weeks of Empowered. That is so true.

Early in the week last week I was lamenting the fact that school has been very lax since Empowered. I just felt like in a funk. We did some school but I felt like I just could not get a handle on things. The house, meals, school planning, discipline. It all seemed to be falling apart.

Then Thursday came.

I had just told myself that I was going to really get back on a schedule. I took Alex out for a soda and writing time last Thursday morning. We got back and ended up watching God's Not Dead 2. I then went up to start working on school stuff when I got the emails. Everything stopped. Everything changed. In an instant I was struck with what is really important. Life and relationships.

I was instantly filled with regret. Regret over the fact that I did not get to know this young man better. Regret over the fact that I did not talk to him more on Monday. That I did not tell him how much I appreciated him and the fact that he loved William. I did not tell him that I was proud of him. I will always cherish the memories I have with Wilson Brant, but I wish there were more.

God has shown me in many ways that we all need to honor Wilson's life by not living in the regret. We need to move on and speak the name of Christ boldly, like Wilson did. To do everything we do with passion, like Wilson did. He was able to do all of this because of the mighty God he served. It was NOT Wilson, but the Holy Spirit moving in him.

The Lord has just been so good to me in bringing people to speak into my life. He has brought me to scripture. He has revealed stories about the Lord blessing us all since last Thursday.

Today, I was really struggling. I just felt off. Yesterday was the funeral and it was one of the most encouraging events I have ever been to. Ever. It was a funeral but I left with such peace.

I wanted to wake up early this morning and really spend time in prayer and Bible study. But I slept in. I got discouraged. I started beating myself up again that things are never going to change. Ever. Everything that I decided to do yesterday I did not do.

Then I dropped William off and came over to Aversboro Coffee to try to catch up on the two Bible studies I am doing. The Love God Greatly Philippians study and Write the Word- Cultivate Joy journal.

I am behind on the Philippians study so I was playing catch up. It just so happened that I was exactly a week behind. I did the study from last Wednesday. It was no mistake because that is right where God needed me to be to be encouraged. 

The passage was Philippians 3:12-14

¹² Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. ¹³ Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Here is a quote I wrote down from the Love God Greatly blog.

"We must strain forward; forward in letting go, forward in embracing the forgiveness found only in Jesus, and forward into a new life with Christ."

"Jesus meets us on our “dusty” roads of life, interrupting our travel plans for a new life that is filled with forgiveness, purpose, and unexplainable joy."

These two quotes and the scripture passage were like a balm for my weary soul.

Here is a prayer I wrote that day. 

Lord, This is just what I needed to hear today. I have done nothing since last Thursday when I found out Wilson died. I was just talking about giving ourselves grace. I need to realize that today is a new day and I can start again. We cannot bring up the past. We need to forgive ourselves and move on in your power and strength.

My action plan for the day also came from the Love God Greatly blog.

1. Forget what is behind.

2. Strain toward what is ahead.

3. Press into Jesus. 

I was so encouraged after spending time in the word. I then opened up my bright yellow write the word journal to see what passage I would be writing today. 

Isaiah 56:1-2

Thus says the Lord:
“Keep justice, and do righteousness,
for soon my salvation will come,
    and my righteousness be revealed.

Blessed is the man who does this,
    and the son of man who holds it fast,
who keeps the Sabbath, not profaning it,     and keeps his hand from doing any evil.”

Here is what I wrote in my journal for the day.

Wilson Brant 1991-2017

God is good. He has encouraged me today to be bold in my faith. He has given me comfort in the verses he has led me to. Wilson was a young man who loved out Isaiah 56:1-2. He kept justice and did righteousness. He held fast to his Savior. At his funeral we were all encouraged by how many people testified to the account. I also had another study I am doing take me to Philippians 3:12-14. It is the passage about pressing toward the goal of Christ. That is how Wilson lived and how he died. This verse is now so special because I will remember Wilson and the passion he lived with for bringing glory and honor to Christ. 

I know the next coming days will be difficult for Wilson's family and friends, but God is good all the time and all the time God is good. 

He will sustain us and comfort us and give us peace. He will also give us boldness and passion to proclaim the name of Jesus. 

In my journal there is a space to write my words for today.

On this day I wrote: hugs/boldness/press on. 

That about sums up Wilson Brant.

I hope that one day they will be used to describe me.