Operation: Asa Joy

I have started many drafts of this blog since the first weeks of 2021 and each time I have not finished. To be honest, I am weary and tired. The physical pain has been wearing on my mind and the spiritual battles I have been fighting recently have been even more draining.  My mother always used to tell me that the years spent changing diapers, disciplining and training children, and dealing with toddlers was a cake walk compared to parenting adults. Now that three of our boys are over 18 and Esther will be in a few months, I am learning the truth of her statement.  I have spent the last few years storming the gates of heaven on behalf of my older children (all my children, really). I have watched them make decisions that I know will only lead to pain. I have been grieved over those decisions. I have also seen them make wise decisions that brought tears to my eyes in gratefulness to God. For almost a year now I have been walking a tough road with one of those older children. He...

 This is what my kitchen table looks like during the day. Actually this is pretty good because there is usually more. Being a homeschool family, our kitchen table is where we live a lot of life. It is very rare to find the table empty or not full of books and other items. So here is snapshot into my life: 1. My coffee maker - I think this needs no explanation. 2. My fireplace heater from my mother - again, no explanation needed. 3. My computer - as a lover of words, my computer is out most of the time. My computer is normally surrounded by my journal and devotional books but I have to put them away to make room for school. They sit is a bag which you cannot see in this picture.  4. My water bottle - because if it not in front of me or easy to drink from I will go the entire day without drinking water. 5. School work - I am either helping a child do school or checking a child's completed school. This is what I do. 6. Books - we are constantly ordering new books or reading a boo...

 If I am being honest with myself I struggled yesterday.  I was hearing the news and getting upset about what I saw happening. Then I got on social media and began hearing a different story from friends who attended the rally. They said that they were on their way home and saw a crowd moving to riot. Some of my friends actually tried to stop them before they got to the building.  So frustrating to hear the differing stories. I eventually had to just get off the internet. I ended up snuggling with Caleb and watching cooking. Once he went to bed I stayed up and read a book.  I think I watched a couple minutes of the coverage throughout the whole day. I purposed in my heart to not put it in front of my eyes. This morning I woke up and was just weary. Weary from the pain I have been dealing with and weary from what has been going on in our country. The one thing I was looking forward to was getting up and spending time with the Lord. Now, I want you to know that I strugg...

 I have not done a very good job the past couple years studying my word of the year. I spend a lot of time praying and asking God what my word of the year will be. And every year I come to the end and think, "Oh, yeah I did pick that word. I forgot."  This year I am being more intentional to truly look at my word al least once a week. I wrote last week that this year my word is SET. It comes from two verses that God led me to. I want to write them here every week so I put them before my eyes. I hope to have them memorized by the end of the year. Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. SET your mind on things above, not on the things that are on the earth.  Colossians 3:1-2 SET a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips. Do not incline my heart to any evil thing, to practice deeds of wickedness with men who do iniquity; and do not let me eat of their delica...

 I love how God gives me words of encouragement just when I need it. I have been struggling with pain in my right wrist, neck and back. My pain seems to be so much worse on the right side of my body. Ever since the weather got cooler, my pain levels have been increasing every day. We have been under quarantine so I have not even been able to see my doctor. And finding a doctor who will listen has been so discouraging.  I went to Rheumatologist this summer only to be told my numbers aren't bad enough yet and there was nothing he could do for me. I asked if I was just supposed to live in pain every day and he said to just take ibuprofen. I laughed at him and then started to cry. For those who live with pain every day you know that taking ibuprofen is like taking candy.  It does not really do anything.  Every time I do go to my regular doctor they prescribe me strong painkillers. I guard those things and only take it when I absolutely have to because they only give me 2...

 One of the books I am reading this year is a book of Puritan Devotional Readings. It is called Voices From the Past and was recommended by a good friend, Scott Long. I have only been reading it for a little over a week and I have so enjoyed it.  When I read a book or devotional there are always phrases and words that strike me and I write them down or study them a little further. Today was no exception.  Today I read a passage from Thomas Manton who lived between 1620 and 1677 and was best known for his skilled expository preaching.  Until we get our hearts out of the world. how easily our hearts are carried away with the thoughts of earthly concerns. Until we can separate and purge our spirits, how we mingle our prayers with many ridiculous thoughts. The flesh introduces, and our carnal hearts insert and interlace our prayers with vain thoughts and earthly distractions. Then, when we come to offer incense to God with our censer, we might mingle sulphur with our inc...

  I said yesterday that I have endeavored to read several short devotionals this year. Many of them are written by Puritan or Reformed giants of the faith. As I have begun to read them I have discovered something amazing. Most of them quote great lyrics of old hymns. I have found myself the last two mornings searching the internet for the full lyrics of two songs to print and tape in my January journal.  The one from yesterday was He Leads Us On written in 1865. I actually had a hard time finding a recording of this song to listen to. I found one on Apple Music that had the same lyrics but not the original tune.  He leads us on by paths we did not know; Upward He leads us, tho’ our steps be slow; Tho’ oft we faint and falter on the way, Tho’ storms and darkness oft obscure the day, Yet when the clouds are gone, We know He leads us on. He leads us on thro’ all th’unquiet years; Past all our dreamland hopes, and doubts, and fears He guides our steps; thro’ all the tangled m...

  This is one of the devotional books that I am reading this year. I always like to pick at least one to go through each year. This year I have chosen a few shorter devotionals. This is one of them and there is a cool story to go behind how this book ended up in possession. It involves my mother and my mother-in-love. My mom is always posting encouraging quotes on Facebook. She owns this book and posted something from it a few months ago. I commented on how much I needed to hear what she posted that day. I simply posted how I needed to get a copy of this book for myself. That was all. My mother-in-love read the same post and my comment. The next thing I know I get a text from her saying how she had just purchased the book for me and to look for it in the mail.  I was brought to tears in thankfulness that God has surrounded me with these two women who encourage me to walk closer to the Lord.  Both of my parents were saved later in life and they raised us three girls with a...