Hard Things and Memories

          It has been a minute since I've written here. Life kind of gets in the way. It has been a hard few years. For all of us. 

This year has been especially hard for the Smith side of my family. That is my mom and dad. At the beginning of the year, we got the tragic news that my dear Uncle Roger committed suicide. It was devastating for our whole family. It left us with many questions because he did not leave a note and did not have his affairs in order. My mom is the youngest of 7 siblings. My Uncle Johnny died when he was 16 years old. My mom was about 6 when he died. We lost my Uncle Jerry last year. My Aunt Othella, Aunt Betty and Uncle Jimmy are in declining health. My mom has had a hard time. 

Carl and I drove my mom to West Virginia in March to go through my Uncle Roger's house. It was a bittersweet trip. He had been the one to take care of my grandparents before they died. He was the keeper of all the family heirlooms. There were lots of things we discovered about my uncle during that trip. 

He was a quiet man who rarely said anything and had a sweet smile. He truly was an introvert. I remember at family gatherings him hanging out with the kids more than the adults. He served in the Navy and later the Merchant Marines until he retired to take care of my grandparents. We discovered that he had been all over the world. He was a wonderful photographer, and we found the pictures of all his travels. 

He was a true Renaissance man. If he was interested in learning something, he mastered it. He refinished old chairs, made latch hook rugs, dabbled in stained glass, painted, and many other things. He was a gifted man. 

The entire family has been wondering why he decided to take his own life. The only thing we can guess is that he got some bad news from the doctor as we found lots of medical equipment in his house. The questions will always be there. We are sad because any one of would have talked to him and helped him. We will always be sad that he made the choice he did.

His death has caused us to ponder a lot of things. We cherish the memories that we have of him and because we have his pictures, we have those memories in print. What a special gift we have been given. We also have memories of the whole family as he was the keeper of all the family heirlooms. Oh, the treasure we discovered. 

All of this has made me realize that I need to share those memories with my children. I need to pass on the legacy my family.

I have decided to share the pictures of my family here and include memories that I have of them. I also want to do this to bring awareness to the suicide epidemic that is happening in our country especially among veterans and young people. If by sharing the stories of my Uncle Roger I can help one person realize that they can reach out for help, then his story is not on vain. 

My grandparents - Clarence and Hester Holder 

I love this picture of my uncle because of the beautiful smile he had. He loved to take pictures of people, but we have very few pictures of him. This is a favorite.