A Letter to all the women in my life

After a very emotional church service on Sunday I felt led to finally write a letter that has been on my heart for a while. It has been a tough month with for me as I have been dealing with late night conversations with my adult children, my teenagers, and my littles. Hard conversations. But I so thankful that they are talking to me and being brave about sharing their struggles. 

I feel it is time we stop hiding behind the word "fine" and start praying for each other and encouraging one another. 

Ladies,

I want to start out by telling each one of you that I love you like dear sisters.

God has placed us in each other’s lives for a reason. We are relational beings no matter how much we want to deny that. No matter how much we want to retreat into ourselves and not let anyone into what is really going on in our lives. I think most, if not all of us, suffer in silence because we are afraid to let people into our lives. It is easier to cry silent tears and to say that everything is “fine.”

I have come to despise that word. “Fine.”

I am not “fine” most of the time. I have suffered with depression for years and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I have not let people into my life to mutually pray for one another and encourage each other.

We have been listening to a lie of Satan that says that we will be judged and condemned if we let other know what we are struggling with. I have spent many years believing this. I have sinned, and I confess that before you all. I have been wrong to think that I was meant to handle life’s trials alone. I have been wrong to think the same of each of you.

I am seeing the consequences of believing this lie of the enemy. Our children have learned from us and are suffering. Suffering terribly with strong sin and temptation. My family is going through some tough things with multiple children. Different issues for each of them but still they are suffering. I am hurting trying to make sure that I have time to listen to each one and make sure that they feel like they can continue to talk to me.

I have seen my children be so brave in bringing hard things to me. Things that I never thought I would hear come out of their mouths. I am struggling with how to handle it all. My children are showing me what transparency looks like. What it means to be bold and share the hard things in life. Praise the Lord that my children feel comfortable enough to share with me and communicate with me when they are struggling.

I have learned now that it is okay to ask the tough questions. It is okay to tell someone that they do not look “fine.” To call others out to the lie that is the word “fine.” We are not, and it is time we stood up and were bold enough to share with each other. To seek out prayer and encouragement.

I know that many of us are going through things where we do not need to know every detail of what is going on. Gossip is also a sin and we need to be very careful with our words. What I am talking about is coming together as a group of women and saying that we are struggling. To ask for prayer for specific people in our lives. We are not gossiping when we say, “Can you pray for my child? They are really struggling with an issue today.” We are not gossiping when we say, “Can you pray for me today? I am really struggling with the sin of pride.” Or whatever sin it may be.

We are all suffering with different things because we are all at different stages of life. We need to come together to fellowship and encourage one another. And not just on Sunday. We need to build relationships so that when one of us is walking a dark road of suffering we do not look up one day to realize that we have not seen or talked to each other in months. My heart is grieving and sorrowful for a friend that I have done that to. I am seeking restoration with this friend, but it is hard to repair the damage. I do not want to cry tears over a damaged relationship again. Ever

It is okay to say that we are not fine.

It is okay to say that we need prayer.

It is okay to cry.

It is okay to grieve.

Let’s do it together. We all have experiences and lessons that we have learned that might help someone else. God gives us trials, so we can learn and then pass those lessons on to others. This brings glory to God.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ⁵ For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.^{[a] 6} If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. ⁷ Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

I would like to confess to you that I have not done this. I have suffered for years silently crying thinking that if people only knew the mess of my life that they would not want to be my friend. That they would judge me. I have also known that many of you were suffering and have prayed for you at home but not let you know that I have been. Or I have just let my own thoughts and problems make me forget that we are all suffering. I have spent the last few weeks confessing and repenting of long standing sins in my life and this is one of them. I would like to say sorry to each one of you for the pride and selfishness that I have shown to you.

Repenting is not just confession but a complete turning away from. That is what I am trying to do.

I think it is time for us women to stand up and say that we are not “fine” and to start truly praying for one another and encouraging one another.

I am making myself available to you all on Tuesdays and Wednesdays starting next week, September 11 and 12th. I have kids at STP those days. Aversboro Coffee is across the street. I would love to meet with any of you that feel led for a time of prayer and encouragement. If you could just send me an email or text with when you all available. I am just going to be there from about 1:30 on until I feel the Lord telling me to go. Some days I have kids at STP until 6. I may have to go to the building for a reason but if you text me telling me you want to meet, it takes about a minute to get over there. I will be ready to talk or pray or just fellowship with you whenever you need on those days. My directing class is on Monday this year, so Tuesday and Wednesday are days where I can focus on building relationships with all the wonderful women in my life that God has blessed me with.

I may have a child or two with me doing school or sitting playing with something after their class is over. But don’t let that deter you from coming. Bring your children too if you need to. Just come when you feel the Lord leading you. I don’t have any formal time or study planned. Just talking and praying or whatever you need. Even if it just a listening ear for a little while or maybe just a hug and a few tissues handed to you.

If no one comes, then I will get lots of time to write and pray and spend time with children that I bring.

I just feel that the Lord is calling me to make myself available to you all. I want each of you to know that I love you and that you all have been such a blessing in my life and the lives of my children.

Let’s come together and see if we can help one another in our walks with the Lord and in the relationships with those we love most.

I encourage you that if you cannot meet during those times to find women in your life that you can meet with for a time of prayer and encouragement. Seek it out. Make it a priority to ask the hard questions and to get beyond the “fine.”

Kimberly Trautman

919-624-7636

Fourinarow1999@yahoo.com

operationasajoy.blogspot.com