Unexpected Quiet Time

January 3, 2018

I am sitting in our local coffee shop while William is at rehearsal for Sleeping Beauty. It is the first production of the 2017-2018 season. We are involved, in some way, in seven out of the ten productions this year. It is going to a whirlwind season, but I am excited to see what God is going to do and how He  is going to use my family.

I was not aware that William had rehearsal today. I had planned to go to the library, take Alex out to lunch, and then go home to rest. I do not know whether it is the weather, my new glasses, or a sinus infection but I have been suffering the last few days from serious headaches. I wanted to take a nap, but God had other plans. William texted me close to noon to tell me that he had to be at the STP building at 1:00. I was 45 minutes away from the house at the time. It takes about 25 minutes from our house to get to STP. Alex and I gobbled down our lunch and took off. I pulled in the driveway and dropped Alex off and picked up William. We got the building around 1:20. Whew!!!

I am now sitting here at the coffee shop enjoying some quiet piano music and writing. I have been trying to put up a post for a few days now but have just had a problem with motivation. I have had a hard time getting up in the morning and when I am up it is hard to get going on my devotions. Once I do I always have a wonderful time, but I can tell that Satan has been working overtime to discourage me. I have wanted to write several things but have just never got around to it. Yesterday, I stayed in bed all day and never even took my pajamas off or combed my hair.

This morning however was different. Yes, I struggled to get up sleeping through my 6:00 alarm and my 6:30 alarm. I was up and doing devotions at 6:45. I was a little bit upset at over-sleeping, but the Lord used the time I did have to really comfort my heart and encourage me.

Romans 1:8-12

⁸ First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is proclaimed in all the world. ⁹ For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I mention you ¹⁰ always in my prayers, asking that somehow by God's will I may now at last succeed in coming to you. ¹¹ For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you— ¹² that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith, both yours and mine.

Our elder at Grace Christian Fellowship just started a study in the book of Romans last Sunday. He taught on the introduction in verses 1-17 of chapter 1. I don’t think it is a coincidence that my Cultivate Joy: Write the Word journal had me write out these verses this morning.

As I was writing out the passage I was struck with several questions that I have been pondering all day.

Is my faith proclaimed in all the world? How about my country? My state? My town? My circle of acquaintances?

Do I pray for the people I know without ceasing? What about my family?

Do I use the gifts that God has given me to encourage others?

Do I seek out people in my life that encourage me and help me to strengthen my walk with the Lord?

Deep questions to ponder this cold day when snow is in the forecast.

When I think about whether my faith is proclaimed I once again am drawn to that question that has been on my heart since December 7. “Can others look at my life and see God’s heart, alive and unrivaled?”

I want there to be no doubt whatsoever to the people I encounter in my life that I am a daughter of the King of Kings. I want every word and thought and deed to reflect the love of Christ. I want to be obedient to what God commands me to do through the leading of the Holy Spirit.

We were reading in our family devotions last night about the calling of the first disciples. It says in Matthew 4:20 and 22 that when Jesus called the disciples they came “immedietly.” They left their fishing nets and their families and came right away.

Do I do that, or do I try to make excuses? Too many times I have let the fear of man control whether or not I am obedient. Going through the Empowered production and then the death of Wilson Brant has taught me that I need to step out in obedience as soon as I am called.

I want to be known as a woman of faith who loves God and follows Him wherever He leads.

Do I pray for the people I know without ceasing? What about my family?

An area where God has been working on me about for a number of years is in the area of prayer. I would like to tell you that I consider myself a prayer warrior, but the opposite is true.  I lack the habit of living in a state of continual prayer. There have been times in my life where I have had a vibrant time of prayer each morning with the Lord. Times where He and I communicated well, and He would lead me to prayer for people. I felt that I was on my way to becoming the prayer warrior I want to be. Sadly, I have allowed that habit to fall by the wayside.

I have been so convicted about it lately but have done nothing to remedy the situation. Then I read this verse this morning. Paul stated that he prays for the Roman Christians “without ceasing.” Boy, talk about a punch in the gut. I thought that just getting up and doing devotions was enough. I have realized that I need to have a time of prayer before I even open my Bible and notebooks and get out my pens. That is where true victory will come.

Don’t get me wrong. I have so enjoyed my time in the morning with God. I have learned so much and I have prayed.  God has put people on my heart and situations to pray before. I want to get to the point though where I can say that I pray “without ceasing.”

I want to combine the scripture writing and journaling with PRAYER, which is not something that I am doing right now.

One of my verses for this year is 1 Thessalonians 5:16-22.

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray without ceasing, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ¹⁹ Do not quench the Spirit. ²⁰ Do not despise prophecies, ²¹ but test everything; hold fast what is good. ²² Abstain from every form of evil.

See, I told you that the Lord was working on my heart about the issue of prayer.

Do I use the gifts God has given me to encourage others?

One of the hardest things I have ever done was to make my writing public. I was almost paralyzed with fear as my finger was poised above button to make my blog public. I still get a little nervous every time I hit the publish button.

I have come to realize that God has gifted me when it comes to words. I do not say that to be arrogant but to remind myself of what God has called me to. I step out in obedience every time I write something. Trust me, when he does not want me to write something he does not let me. I am reminded of the day when I wrote almost 2000 words in my book and lost all 2000 words. I did not feel comfortable with what I was writing that day and the Lord made sure I did not get to publish it.

God is using me a tool to bring encouragement to other women. I hope that as I continue to write and step out in obedience that women will be encouraged by what I share from my heart.

Something God has also laid on my heart is one day to start a speaking ministry. This has been on my heart for years, but God has not opened the door yet. I am praying expectantly that if this is something that the Lord wants me to do that He will fling open the doors to make it happen.

I never thought that I would be doing theater again, but God is using me to bring glory to His name. I am amazed at where I am today and how God is using me. I just pray that everything I do brings GLORY to HIS NAME. My desire is for less of me and more of HIM. I want to be a vessel that He uses to bring encouragement to other women.

I am reminded of Titus 2:3-5

³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴ and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

I pray that I can be an “older woman” who teaches “what is good.”

That leads me into the last question.

Do I seek out people in my life that encourage me and help me to strengthen my walk with the Lord?

This has also been on my heart this week even before I read this passage. The Lord has just been leading me to seek out a few women in my life to become accountability and prayer partners. Women that are more than just acquaintances but women that walk with me as I endeavor to lead a more victorious Christian life. Women that I share my life with. Women that I can share the hard things of life with. Women that I know are going to encourage me and pray with me. Women who are going to call me out when they see me sin or going down a wrong path. Women who will be honest and loving.

I have been praying about this for a while now and the Lord keeps bringing me back to the same group of ladies. Have I done anything about it yet? NO.

Will I? I hope so. I am working on an email that I plan to send to them and see if they would like to walk with me on this road that the Lord is taking me on.

So much on my mind this afternoon.
So much more I could write.

I sometimes think that my posts are too long, but each word has been prayed over. I reread each post before I hit publish. I pray over each post to see whether or not the Lord wants me to share them with you. There have been posts that I have not published. Things that the Lord has either said no or wait to.

I believe that the Lord has led me to write these things today and I hope that your heart is blessed. Step out in obedience to what the Lord is calling you to do today. Trust that He knows what He is doing even when we can’t see the whole picture.

My new January journal. Love the JOY!